Well so much for the good time…”sigh”…I couldn’t fall asleep after the somewhat easy night shift…so by the afternoon, I was tired as hell…all I wanted is to go back to sleep but I thought I had another night shift tonight. Once I went to work I realized that I missed a shift on day before yesterday and I had no work today. I was kind of relieved because I really just wanted to go to sleep. Oh, my sisters also came this afternoon. It’s really not going as good as I anticipated. My immediate younger sister started bitching about how she’s annoyed by my youngest sister ever since she got on the bus. She also kept complaining about her friend, the friend she suggested that I should invite. Even though I was disturbed by all these complaining, I ignored it and tried to be good sport. Since I was home I made them hot coca, bought ice cream, and made salsa & chips. I sat down with her watched the TV show she likes while her friend and my youngest sister played video games. Now at 3:30 am and I requested everyone to go to sleep cause I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. Everyone packed up and went to sleep except her. She just kept Watching one episode after another. I started to get really pissed off but said nothing. So finally she stopped watching when her laptop ran out of battery. I don’t know who she was angry at but she Started showing off an attitude again to my youngest sister. Now I am trying to help her and I thought if she comes here she will experience a little change then go back to school, start fresh. She’s facing the same problem as me. She has a horrible study habit, takes on more than she can handle, and a parents who thinks the only way to solve her problem is through micromanaging. I faced the same struggle at her age and I thought if I step in may be I can help her. May be she won’t have to fail her classes to learn the lesson. But she’s becoming increasingly impossible to help. I mean how can you help someone when that person knows only to complain and sulk over her grades but never really take any effective steps to improve the situation? She is the one who wanted to come here, asked me to help her with homework but now she’s complaining that she should go back home. I know what will happen when she goes back home. She will spend all day watching anime or other TV shows. And my dad who has high blood pressure and all sorts of disease will become so sick that he can almost have a heart attack. My mom is under depression medication for three years now and when she starts doing these things mom just goes into an even deeper depressed mood. They only feel better when I reassure them again and again that I will make sure she does her homework and go to school regularly. My only wish is if I only knew how to do it. And as for this holiday, I can see that it’s ruined. The good time I was hoping to have, she wont let me. She always has a way to ruin everything. The days I go home or try to help her out are also the days I become very sure that I don’t ever want to have kids. The facts that the cute kids will one day grow up and become teenagers like her or may be worse scares the heck out of me. But I still go back to and try to help because I feel like all the problem she’s going through aren’t entirely her fault. She’s still a minor after all. I can’t wait till the day she becomes an adult and starts making her own decisions. Only then I feel like I can blame her entirely for her stupidity or laziness or whatever it is. I think I am eagerly waiting for that day.
Posted onDecember 23, 2012
Posted under20 minutes of random thoughts