So today is Friday. I have work at 11pm tonight. This is the first time in my life I am doing night shift. My sisters were supposed to come today since today was their last day at school. Then I realized bus fare tomorrow is only six dollars, they are coming tomorrow. I didn’t have work on last two days. Most of my day was gone sleeping. Last two days were also the laziest time in weeks, I think. Laziness might have something to do with depression. Given my current situation, constantly checking if my appeal was still reviewed, last two days of extreme laziness kind of dragged me into a deeper depressed mood. I was hoping if my sisters are here then I will lighten up but I guess I will have to wait one more day. Since I am not doing anything, I kind of hope that I will spend time with my boyfriend. So from my point of view we haven’t had a nice time for almost two weeks now. I went home on last Wednesday and stayed until Tuesday. On those days we only shared few SMS. I don’t get much time to talk with him when I am home because my parents and sisters just block my whole to find out any extra time for anything else. In any case, I was hoping once I am back we will figure out a time to chat which we haven’t. Well he calls me in the morning for five-ten minutes before he goes to work and then on two of his break for five minutes each. That is all our conversation for the whole day. I don’t know if I mentioned, he lives in Australia. Anyhow, he thinks he spends all his day either working or talking to me while I keep thinking that’s not real talk, that’s chit chat. I don’t know what I was exactly expecting from him over the Christmas break but he is going out with his friends to celebrate the Christmas. I am not that mad right now because I know I will be busy. What kind of saddens me is that if we keep doing that we will never have free time to sit down and talk or spend time. For some reason I don’t feel like to be the person who initiate the conversation to figure out time for each other. It is probably because even last night he told he spends most of his time working or talking to me. To get rid of this problem I am thinking of not talking to him at all on weekdays. The problem is I don’t have a good routine which I can follow. If I have day shift this week then night shift next week. And also I think the distance is taking a toll on this relationship finally. I don’t like the fact that he is not here on my bad days or on good days.
Family and relationship