“As long as you…


“As long as you keep walking, you’ll find your destination”

I am not sure where or how I found this quote but this quote alone has been a great inspiration for me. For me it’s not enough just to hear a great quote. If I can’t relate with it than I’ll probably know it just as wise word and never really try to use it to inspire or help me in my life. It’s weird how I connect to this quote. I came to the city I live now on 2009 to attend in the University. My first year I lived in dorm and second year lived in a heavily student populated area which was only five minutes walk from the main campus. On the third year I decided to move further in order to save money on rent. So I moved twenty minutes drive away from the main campus. However, I never had to drive because there was a university shuttle line from my apartment to the campus. This is also heavily student populated area due to the shuttle service. Since then I have been living here but I wasn’t going to school all the time. I was dismissed for the second time while I was living here. So I had to start looking for job, preferably full time to support myself. This is when I first had to start going to other parts of the city where I have never been. It’s because I only went to campus and came back to my apartment and I was only familiar with the surrounding few hundred feet of my apartment and the campus. All these years I didn’t even know how to drive from campus to my apartment because I always took the shuttle. I never noticed which route we were taking. As soon as I was in the bus I would start to listen to music or read or just get into daydreams. The result was that in those three years I didn’t know anything about this city. So When I started looking for job and needed to go for interview I found myself lost all the time. I have to mention that this is when I borrowed the car; I used to drive in high school, from my dad. Before that I also never attempted to drive on highway. So in this unknown city with no experience on highways I was forced to get on the road and start driving. I tried taking public transportation for few months and speaking of truth public transportation sucks in this city as it does in many hundreds of other American cities. In addition to the unfamiliar layout of the city I didn’t have any GPS. So every time I had to go out for something I would look into Google map once, twice, trice and sometimes more. However, as soon I had hit the road I would find myself lost may be because I took a wrong turn or didn’t recognize the signs or whatever. Then I would find myself driving for twenty thirty minutes extra, sometimes hours because I didn’t know which highway connects with what or what direction will lead me somewhere near where I live. It would be increasingly frustrating and many times I missed the interview or doctor appointments or other important stuffs because I was lost and I couldn’t find my ways back. Eventually I developed this stubbornness that it doesn’t matter if I am there on time, it doesn’t matter if I can accomplish whatever I wanted to do at that place. The only thing matter is that I have to go to that place. So since then I would drive, even if it meant driving one hour instead of ten minutes I would drive and find myself at the place where I wanted to be. When I was doing that, I felt frustrated all the time that I was burning gas and wasting time for no reason. At that time my goal was probably to get to that interview on time or do that task on time. When I failed to do that I would feel angry, disappointed, and frustrated. The interesting fact is that I did not realize these experiences could mean anything else. That feeling of anger to myself  for not attempting to be familiarized with the city for last three years made me feel like know every highway, road, allies, corner of the city. Long story short, I have made myself familiar with every highway, roads, and allies of the city if not all the corners. Now how does this connect to the bigger picture of my life? When I looked at my recent past I realized that I kept failing at everything and since this experience with driving, I told myself just keep going. Even if I am failing at every attempt the good thing is that I was at least able to attempt it in the first place. And when I fail to understand something on time but did understand somewhere along  the line I kept telling myself, the good thing is that I understood, It doesn’t matter when. When I find myself lost and have no hope, I kept telling myself just keep living. The whole point of all of this is to remind myself again and again that may be there is a goal for my life, maybe it’s not what I intended for myself, maybe it’s not I would achieve on time; but the point is if keep working hard, keep experimenting, keep living, one day I will be able to see the culmination of all the experiences and where I reach was probably my destiny. Hopefully then I will realize what was the whole purpose everything that I am doing now. For now, I should just try to work hard, be happy, and live a meaningful day.

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