The steps before going back to college

So there are few updates in my life…I am trying to go back to school…in the process of going back I facing these step by step problems. At first i was worried that i might not be able to apply on time. I just got laid off and as the application deadline approached I was down to negative balance in my bank account.Yes that’s right! I was overdraft and that was intentional. I would be lying if I said I had no help. My boyfriend kept giving me money whenever and whatever he can afford. In any case I just kept finding myself with no money. I was pretty determined not to ask my parents. Now my anger against them kind melted down a long time ago. The reason I was angry or kept trying to do it all by myself without their help has disappeared a long time ago. Even though the reason wasn’t there anymore I still wanted to do it by myself. at least I tried till the end. but i couldn’t avoid asking for help anymore. I was starting feel incredibly guilty to ask my bf to help me out all the time. So one day before the application deadline I asked my dad to give hundred bucks. He doesn’t know why he gave me that money but I am thanks he gave me without any question. I was able to at least apply on time. Now that I got accepted I would have to go through the advising to clear my bar for registration on january. When I first met the biology advisor ( my first major), she kind in wats told me that I should look for other majors. Even though I strongly feel that it’s not the subject rather my lack of good study habit and other circumstanced caused all the failure, I was kind of unwillingly forced to look for other subjects to study. Then I guess it was a stupid idea to jump into thinking that they would be okay with me doing computer science. same story again I was strongly advised to look for something else. At this point I was kind of lost cause I really didn’t know what to do. I don’t know if it’s a problem with my personality or low self esteem or whatever it is. I felt like everyone was conspiring against me to keep me out of school. Everyone seemed unhelpful and unwilling or i should say discouraging. In any case, the sociology class I took through university extension really excited me. So i thought why not talk to sociology advisor. It turned out if pursue a sociology major I can graduate in an year along with a certificate in elements of computing. Well for now I have decided to go with that. I said for now because the classes I am taking for the computing certificate can also be used for a CS degree. In case I like the subject I will change the major once I manage to survive this sprig semester. So these were my plans until I had start thinking about paying for the tuition. This third step is still on going. The financial aid office put a bar on my aid despite the fact that I received two B+ on the last two course I took through the university extension. I think it’s reasonable because I still don’t have 2.00 GPA. So I can only try and see if they would change their mind. With that hope I submitted an appeal on thursday afternoon to the financial aid office. I am still waiting to hear back from. Chances are they will reject my appeal and I have to figure out other ways to pay for tuition. This is hard. For last three days I kind of feel like my whole world is at a pause mode. I really can’t think of alternatives. But so far I am thinking of paying half of it through credit card. And half by cash and that i have to save by holding full time job may be along with a part time. I haven’t figured that out. On the contrary I am thinking of going back part time. I have enough money on credit card to pay for the part time tuition. With the full time job I have I can manage to pay the minimum payment. I also thought of private loan. The problem with private loan is that my parents’ income is very low and i don’t think they can co-sign for me. Plus I still don’t want them to help me out. I don’t think banks will just let me borrow by myself but I will give it a try. If taking out private doesn’t work out for me then I will go with using the credit card and enrolling part time. Now only if I knew what the financial aid office decided. There is nothing more exhausting than the feeling of uncertainty.

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